Monday, November 16, 2009

ever wanted to walk away and not come back?

you know the tuff days? The ones we all have but no one ever wants to talk about because they worry people will know (Instead of just think) that you are a terrible mother.

You know those horrible guilty thoughts that you must be the mother from hell to not want to return home to your children after all everyone else seems to love their children.

Well I am here to tell you you are not horrible or a terrible mother. Nor are you going insane.

I would start questioning your sanity if there were days when you didn't feel like this. After all the average kids give you lots of little precious "I love you" moments that keep you understanding why it was you decided children were lovely things to have. And even then their mothers have days when they question their sanity.

If you are having one of those tuff days remember there are lots of other mums and dads out there feeling the same. Maybe not right now this minute but certainly close enough to remember.

Things you can do to make those tuff days more bearable.

Research> Learn all you can about how to help your child
Trust> In yourself. You know this child better than anyone else on the planet (apart from your partner) so if your opinion and others differ go with your heart.You have a great chance of being right. Trusting my guts saved my sons life at a time when people were accusing me of having a mental illness becasue they could not see the distress my son was showing.
Give> To yourself. We are often so busy giving to our kids, checking out the latest supports, spending money of the latest greatest unproven therapy that there is nothing left for us. Make sure you put aside a portion of your money to spend on you in whatever way gives you most pleasure. ( You know that carer's payment? It's not all to benefit the child. You deserve to get a portion of it as well)Is it time with your other half? Watching a movie, getting some decadent chocolates. It's great for your children to see you buying something for yourself instead of always buying for them. It teaches them to be aware of the needs of the people in their lives and helps them to become less focused on themselves (their hardest challenge) But best of all it fills you up with love so you have more to give your kids.

I promise you with absolute certainty that the greatest therapy you can give your child is a healthy sane Mum and Dad. Make sure you spend time together as a couple and support each other. We dont always need to ahve solutions given to us if we have had a hard day. Sometimes a cuddle and a "We'll get there one day at a time" will do so much for your relationship.

Contact Kalparrin through Princess Margaret Hospital. They have camps away for Mums, families and sometimes for dads.

It is a great organisation.

Oh and most important. When you have one of those days dont beat yourself up. They truely are a sign you are sane after all. :)

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