Well it's 11.59 Sunday night and it looks like my girl will not be going to school tomorrow.
15 year old girls with ASD are not fun when they decide that they are no longer interested in going to school.
She spat the dummy.

A week ago she was excited about going to school. Now she hates it.

She was throwing things in her room so hard that she terrified the dogs who were sleeping in my room.
Now of course I am wound up tight as a drum adn cant sleep and I know she wont be getting any sleep for a while.
*sigh*

I said to her that if she really didn't want to go to school she had to get a job and that was it I was teh nasty mother from hell and life got noisy. Tell you whatr i am glad I dont live next door. Dont think I would want to listen to a meltdown at nearly midnight.

Still it's not all bad news.
I found a place to give horse riding lessons from so just a few more small hurdles adn I can get my business up off the ground. Might have a helper after all lol.

Hope everyone elses school year starts just a little smoother then mine has lol.

Donna

Happy B'day Grace

Hi Deb,

Hope Grace's 'party'  went well on Friday, and you had an enjoyable day. We are facing the birthday week this week. Kyle hates surprises so he just pleads all week for us to tell him his presents.  Don't know what we're doing for a party. Kyle wants one cause thats the thing to do but the last few years he hasn't handled them very well.  Might just go to a park that way he can play how he likes with no social pressures. 

See you at the beach, I'll make sure Ella is around. Grace is so cute with her.

Elaine

The Gorgeous Edward!

We made it back to riding today after a few weeks break, and thought it time to share pics of the very special pony Grace & Jarvis are enjoying spending time with! The lovely lady in the picture is Donna's Daughter Kirsty who helps out with the kids lessons, and is quite an acomplished rider herself!

I mentioned ealier that Donna is experienced teaching kids with special needs, her logo is below - 'Giddyup Kidz'. We ride most weeks, so if you are interested in finding out more about Donna's lessons, or would like to just have a look, please contact either myself or Donna anytime. Edward is located in Busselton.

Thanks for today Donna.....sorry Grace was having 'one of those days' lol!!! Have we had enough of the school holidays yet Arghhhhhhh!!!!

A few happy snappies....

Gracie loved that mask & snorkle Santa gave her!......Yep.....she wore it to the playground in anticipation of a swim at the beach later!

The other shot was taken on Christmas night, probably the only shot of the four of us ever taken!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Hi everyone....

Hope we all had a lovely Silly Season, no doubt it was all ebbs n flows like ours!! Lots of highs & the inevitable lows, but generally a good time was had by all.

We've just come out of 3 weeks of house guests, plus staying with people in perth ourselves so its great to have our house back and can try to settle into the new year now. The kids are exhausted and Grace is hypering-out (more than usual)....so some routine is desparately needed.

Amanda - how did Jamie go in his play so far? Sorry we didnt make it to the Sat 2nd show, we had Jarrod's sister & her boys with us and just couldnt make it work.

An update on my previous post about Grace's Gift meltdowns.....yes there were a few, but our speechie managed to throw together a social story at the 11th hour and it did help prepare her a little. The gift voucher she recieved a few weeks ago was 'spent' today, she selected a Barbie sleeping bag, loves it & is excited about using it for our camping trip in a few weeks! Hopefully this will help her understand the concept next time ie: she chooses something to satisfy her Barbie obsession lol!!

Is anyone interested in catching up before school goes back? Maybe we can arrange a get together for sometime next week....if its not too hot. How about an ice-cream at Simmos one afternoon?? We start Vacswim next week and are commited to be at the beach by 11:20am everyday for those 2 weeks, so I'm thinking around 3:30ish??

Looking forward to seeing everyone again soon, take care ladies :)

Backyard Blitz

Just had to share a funny story from tonight.  I don't know if anyone saw the Backyard Blitz done for the mum of 2 Autistic boys about 2 weeks ago, well we watched it as a family and Troy talked to Kyle about how this mum had 2 boys that were like him.  Kyle didn't move from the TV that night.  Tonight Kyle came up to me and said "what is it that I have, I know it starts with an A." I replied telling him it was Autism. "That's right" he said "I better go on backyard blitz" I told him they would then come for me. His reply " Oh okay then for both of us."

If only!!

Season Greetings

Just wishing you all a blessed Christmas and a Happy New Year. May it be a good and safe holiday season for us all. Also all the best as we all tackle the holidays with our children, it can be the hardest time of the year for us too.  See you in the New Year.

Elaine

When will you know if you took the right action?

One of the hardest things for me as a parent was the length of time it sometimes takes to know if you are doing the right thing or not,. After all sometimes it takes thousands of repetitions for our kids to learn something simple. ( I estimate 4000 + to teach my son to brush his teeth without needing me standing beside him like the toothbrushing police)

When other kids seem to learn how to do things without even being shown it can seem like you are getting nowhere in a hurry and you are a failure as a parent.

Well I just wanted to share this little story with you.

When my son was in year 2 primary he started loosing his baby teeth and replaced his beautifullly straight teeth with a mouthful of crooked and crossed over teeth. He went from beautiful speach to lisping all the time because of the crossed over teeth.

At that stage I didn't know what we were dealing with ( I now think he would have been diagnosed autistic if there was the same knowledge then as now) I just knew that there was no way he could handle sitting in a chair and having a tooth pulled out.

Over the years as his teeth were replaced with adult teeth the crowding got worse but I still had nothing done. I couldnt afford ot have his teeth extracted under a general anaesthetic and there was no way he would have sat still long enough. It was a trial enough to get a filling done.

Then when he was in highschool the school dentist said to me to take him to the orthodontist. No point in going there until he wanted to get his teeth straightened. I thought. As it was at that time he was not good at looking after his teeth.

So today after his 17th birthday last month he finally got a headful of metal. 2 ops to remove teeth to get ready for it over the last year and he is committed to keeping his teeth cleaned so he has a nice straight smile. It's not the smile that was worrying me but the fact the teeth are so crooked they are very hard to clean.

So today 7 years + down the track I recieved the positive feedback that yes I did make the right choice.

Sometimes the positive feedback comes quickly, sometimes it takes years and sometimes we will never know if we have done the right thing so it is vitally important that as a parent we remember to celebrate to ourselves when we get things right.

Sometimes it is celebrating that we got the support we need to get the outcome we want. Sometimes it is simply that we held onto our temper when our child was meltingdown around us.

And sometimes it is simply knowing that we are hanging in there on those really tuff days when we feel like we are doing everything wrong. (And oh yeah I remember those days when I did EVERYTHING wrong)

Give yourself a pat on the back, your still here after all and remember that in the future you will see the rewards that you cant see right now.

It's very nice to be sitting here right now knowing that I have a son moving into his adult years who was capable of sitting in a dentist chair for 1 1/2 hours while he had his braces fitted BECAUSE I made the choices I did when he was too young to make them for himself.

Celebrate your actions. You make them after careful consideration and with all the information you have at your disposal. You will make mistakes, we all do, that is why saying well done to yourself is more important than anything else I can think of.

Gift meltdowns....and general Christmas tips??

Ok, so we had a situation today.....here goes....

My Dad visited for the weekend and I knew he was bringing Griffin's birthday pressie early. Id pre-warned and talked through the whole "Griffin will get a gift, but its his birthday & so there wont be one for you" etc etc and she seemed ok with that (sort of lol!)

So Dad mentions he has a little surprise for Grace too - and gives her an envelope.....with a gift voucher inside (K-mart)......IMPLOSION!!! Grace completely lost it for almost an hour. Luckily Dad understod she wasnt being ungrateful, and I will be on the phone first thing tomorrow to our speechie for tips.

Perhaps once she has been able to buy something SHE chooses, it will help her understand next time. Im just wandering if any of you have had problems with gift vouchers before? Birthdays and Christmas have always been a challenge, the build up, anticipation and expectations get the better of her. How do I get her to understand that

.......sometimes you dont know whats inside
.......sometimes someone else might get something she wanted
.......sometimes someone else might get 6 gifts, and she may only get 5
......it hurts people feelings when she gets angry or crys when opening a gift
......gratitued, even if she doesnt really like her gift

etc etc etc

School orientation

Kyle had a school orientation last Wednesday. Being a small school they did preschool orientation and then included the whole school by moving everyone to the class and room they were going to go next year. It was mainly for Kyle. He did really well and it's given him confidence for next year. We are so thankful the school is behind us in helping Kyle. We did have a quiet laugh when the desks became his focus point, everything about them was wrong including the colour. We just have to wait now to see how he goes next year, first we have to tackle the holidays!!!

Babes In The Wood

Hi everyone. I just wanted to let you know about the annual pantomime by the Repertory Club in Busselton. This year it is Babes In The Wood, starting on Jan 1st and running for a 12 show season. Why am I telling you this??? Well, Jamie, my ASD child, is in the show. He has been performing in pantomime every year since he was born, and even while I was pregnant with him!! This year he has a part in the juniors section (a 5 minute segment during the main show) plus has been given a small part in the main cast as well.

Acting and drama classes are often suggested for ASD children as it gives them an environment to practise social skills, emotions and reading non verbal language. Plus they can have no fear of performing on stage as they don't realise it is a fearful situation. Jamie loves being in the pantomime and manages to crack us up every year with his tone of voice and body language etc.

So, if you want to come and check out a great show head down to Callows newsagent in Busselton to purchase tickets (you can only purchase in person, NO PHONE SALES), but it you want to watch Jamie in a great show you need tickets for one of these 6 dates;

Sat 2nd Jan 4pm

Mon 4th Jan 7:30pm

Fri 8th Jan 7:30pm

Mon 11th Jan 7:30pm

Thu 14th Jan 7:30pm

Sat 16th Jan 4pm

The juniors are split into 2 groups and do half the shows each - regulations do not allow kids under 12 to perform for the whole season. Also, Sat 16th is the final show, which always has presentations and speeches afterwards. If you dont think your child can sit through this DONT go to that show.

Enjoy. Amanda

I couldnt help sharing this image my dear friend just emailed me! It was taken at the Busselton Show last month. Such a tender moment, and so true to Gracie's form, she is oblivious to anything around her, completely enamoured by the dove...my heart is full :)

Hanen More Than Words Workshop Feb in Busselton

I just emailed everyone this info....but here is is again :) Deb

A Hanen More Than Words workshop series is being planned to run over 10 Wednesdays from 09.30am to 12.30 at the Busselton Community Health Centre, Mill Rd Busselton commencing on Wednesday February 10th 2010.

The program will be presented by Sabrina de Beer, senior speech pathologist with the Health Department’s Regional Therapy Team.

There will be no cost for participants, but parents are asked to commit to attend the full program. The sessions are run with the parents as a group. Children not attending school will need to be left with a babysitter.

A brief overview of the program is attached below, and further information can be found at:
https://www.hanen.org

It would be ideal if registrations for participation could be made by December 22nd so that pre-programme interviews and videos can be planned and completed prior to the end of January.

To register or to obtain further information please contact Sabrina at: sabrina.debeer@health.wa.gov.au
or phone: 9724 0512

Gluten and Dairy foods...

We've not headed down this path till now, and after a brief conversation with Donna's delightful daughter, I purchased A2 milk yesterday (assuming Grace would be able to tell it wasnt her 'usual' beverage!) and its delicious! I loved it.....and guess who didn't notice!!! It seems a bit expensive, but if it means keeping dairy in her diet - bring it on! Donna, is there anywhere local that seems to sell it cheaper than Coles??

I also wandered down the health food isle to hunt for the cereal K said was nice (I think she said Crunchola??) but didnt see one that was Gluten free, other than the rice flakes, puffs & muesli...has anyone tried any of these??

This is the website for Freedom foods, they make the A2 milk and seem to produce several other GF options. Click on the A2 icon and it takes you to some interesting media reports on this milk.....specifically mentioning Autism. Im going to pop the pancake mix, cookies and wraps on my next shopping list. Tried the potato chips....which Griffin & I loved, but Grace didnt, will keep offering it and see!

www.freedomfoods.com.au

Ladies - Share your favorite GF product with us! Or if there are any recipies your kids love, or GF cookbooks you use......let us know. Also, anyone know of yoghurt that may be along the lines of the A2 milk??

1-2-3 Magic

Hi everyone (and Hi Elaine..glad you got things working!!) I wanted to tell you about a parenting / behaviour management course I have recently attended. It's called 1-2-3 Magic and is run in Busselton very frequently by The Goodnight Nurse. I couldnt find a direct mention of the course on her website, but just contact Emma if you are interested. It costs $100 per person, or $150 for 2 people. I also recommend buying the book for an extra $40. Anyway, about the course...

....Emma had told me that it was proven to work with autistic kids, maybe not the really low functioning ones, but definitely the others. I was a bit hesitant at first, but went along anyway, as I thought that it could at least help my husband and I manage our non-autistic child's behaviour. Well...guess what...it works....with both the kids. Thomas (non autistic) is much happier and more co-operative and less angry and grumpy with us. Jamie (ASD) is getting through his meltdowns and anger times a lot quicker.

There are 3 parts to the course. 1 - identifying and sorting behaviours - this really helped me to see which behaviours were important to target and which I could "let slide". 2 - Using 123 to stop unwanted behaviours and start wanted behaviours (the whole thing sounded to simple to me, I was sure it wouldn't work, but it did!!) and 3 - emotion coaching - to help kids identify, manage and deal appropriately with their emotions - this has really worked with Jamie. He has had a few meltdowns since the course and I have been able to bring him out of them quicker and with much less trauma than previously.

Give it a go.....I bet you will be surprised!!

Amanda

Hi everyone, yes I have it worked out. Thanks Amanda! I'm Elaine, mother of 4; 3 girls and my special boy. Kyle is 7 and was diagnosed with Autism in May this year after many frustrating years of being blamed for bad parenting. I have a very supportive husband in Troy. Kyle is high functioning but has many aggresive meltdowns and his behaviour is becoming more obvious around and by other kids. He attends a school in Bunbury which belongs to our church so he is well supported. There is only 59 students and 3 teachers so the all the staff is on board with anything going on for him. We are up to the stage of telling the other students but are unsure yet how we are going to go about it because Kyle although he knows his diagnosis doesn't like to talk about it. Any ideas? Thanks for the coffee morning it's good to meet other parents because as much as they try to, family and friends sometimes don't fully understand.  

Best wishes to you all especially as we start heading to the busy time of the year and for us the hardest time of the year, with all the out of routine activities that are involved.

Elaine

Pilates....my new best friend!

I just wanted to share with you how brilliant I am finding my weekly sessions of Pilates (twice weekly if I'm feeling indulgent & can get child care/creche lol!)

For those of you who dont know me, I definately DONT enjoy excercise, and definately dont run, jog, pump or lift stuff unless required!! So I am far from a fitness nut, but have to say how noticable the benifits have been since starting a few months ago.

Yes, there has been a little toning and weight loss...but that isn't the main benifit. It's the hour of complete, selfish, centering time all to myself, there is plently of stretching, core-work (great for post-bubbie stuff) and strengthening exercises, but the last 5 or so minutes of relaxation, with a lavender pillow on my eyes and the instructors soothing voice encouraging every mussel to relax, recharge and breathing deeply to release stress, is more benificial than anything I've ever done!

The class I attend is a great mix of people from their 20's to their 70's all shapes and sizes, and everyone keeps comming back! There are several types of pilates around, some use fitballs and scary looking exquipment, but this is just floorwork (kinda like yoga)

I'm in Dunsborough, but have asked my instructor to get back to me with details of similar classes in Busselton & Margaret River if anyone is keen to give it a go! Will post those details when I hear from her.

Today was especially brilliant, as we'd had one one 'those' mornings...Griffin winging and screaming at me from the moment he woke, and Grace melting down over the velcro on her shoes! It felt like an hour long hug from a good friend, giving me time to regroup and get back on track for the day. Im pretty sure it would have spiraled if Id not gone to class.....so its looking like a good day now :)

Yesterdays catch up

Just a quick thanks to everyone who came along yesterday, it was great to see 3 new faces and several old ones too :) I hope everyone is getting as much out of this as I am! I find meeting up with you all even just once a month so supportive & energises me to face the world once more.

Hopefully we will have another get-together before the end of the year. Perhaps an all-in BBQ with the kids and family.....then we have someone to turn the snaggs! Will figure out a date and give you all as much notice as possible, I know how busy it's becoming with all the end of year shindigs!

Death, dying and those hard to discuss topics

I came back from a lovely meeting at the park to the potential for something nasty to be going on with my Dads health and I remember when I was faced with having to explain to my children about death and dying when my Grandmother was very ill and looked like she was going to die.

Sometimes our kids dont register or express emotions the same way others do and at times can come across as incredibly callous and hard. I have heard of asd kids laughing at talk of death simply because they dont understand why everyone is upset. It can be worth explaining to the kids what is appropriate behaviour and what is not.

For my kids I have given them free access to any animal documentary that was on show and so sex, breeding and death have always been an acceptable topic of conversation to the consternation of others at times I am sure.

Everyone has their own ideas of what they should tell their children but just remember where our kids are coming from. They dont understand round about hidden discussions and need everything laid out in black and white saying Grandma has gone to heaven to live with god was never going to cut it with them.

Their first introduction to death was the death of dearly loved pet mice, then Grandma. And it seemed like she sort of fell off the planet and out of their minds, not long after my beautiful dog who had been there their entire lives had to be put to sleep due to heart problems. My son was a little quiet about it. I think said he would miss him and that was all. But as the years went by every now and again out would pop a little comment that showed how much our loved animals and family were missed and the memories shared together to laugh and chuckle over.

Sometimes our kids grieve more it seems for their favourite toy then for people. But the favourite toy doesn't get talked about years later.

Such a morbid topic. sorry about that but sometimes it is worth having a look at these topics to decide what it is you would like to say to your children. If you are grieveing you wont have the mind power to make a lot of sense in your choices. It can be worth thinking about this one.

My kids and I have talked about death, who would look after them if I died and the issues of organ donation. Kind of like my umbrella policy. If you take it it nevers rains. I hope if we talk about it it is something that wont ever be needed at least not for a long long time.

Early Days Workshop Bunbury 11th Dec

There is a workshop being held in Bunbury next month. Its mainly aimed at families new to ASD, here is the link which takes you directly to the dates, click on 'Home' for all the information about Early Days.

www.earlydays.net.au/workshops/search.html